Michelle then summarized some of the main points of Elder Holland's talk. He mentioned the power of our words. He encouraged us to speak more kindly. She read us this quote from the talk:
I love what Elder Orson F. Whitney once said: “The spirit of the gospel is optimistic; it trusts in God and looks on the bright side of things. The opposite or pessimistic spirit drags men down and away from God, looks on the dark side, murmurs, complains, and is slow to yield obedience.” We should honor the Savior’s declaration to “be of good cheer.” (Indeed, it seems to me we may be more guilty of breaking that commandment than almost any other!)
Then she told us that she wanted to focus her lesson on this part of Elder Holland's talk:
In all of this, I suppose it goes without saying that negative speaking so often flows from negative thinking, including negative thinking about ourselves. We see our own faults, we speak—or at least think—critically of ourselves, and before long that is how we see everyone and everything. No sunshine, no roses, no promise of hope or happiness. Before long we and everybody around us are miserable.
Our thoughts determine what we say, as well as our actions. In trying to think of examples of people from the scriptures who changed their negative thoughts into positive ones, Michelle remembered Nephi in 2 Nephi 4. She also thought of Joseph Smith's prayers in the Doctrine and Covenants. Both of these men were able to change their thoughts from despair to praise for God. Eric suggested that Michelle try to find examples of more ordinary people from the scriptures who weren't prophets, but who also succeeded in combating negative thoughts. she read to us an example of a group of ordinary people in Ether 6: 5-11
5 And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a afurious wind blow upon the face of the waters, btowards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.
6 And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.
7 And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being atight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the bark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.
8 And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were adriven forth before the wind.
10 And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither awhale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water.
11 And thus they were driven forth, athree hundred and forty and four days upon the water.
She asked us to picture ourselves on a road trip with all of our extended family, friends, and animals, for 340 days. Could you sing praises to God? When I feel myself passing through a tempest, she said, I spend my time asking God for help, not singing his praises. She also read us Alma 62:41
41 But behold, because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their aafflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility.
She asked herself if she would be the person who hardened her heart in the midst of a war, or if her heart would be softened.
To open the time for a discussion of how our thoughts have affected us at different times in our life, Michelle shared this experience of her own. On Tuesday, her son broke his leg. They didn't realize it was broken, and when the nurse came back in with the x-rays, they were shocked. Michelle was flooded with negative thoughts. As she walked across the hospital from her son's appointment to her own ultrasound, she remembered this lesson that she was preparing. She prayed that God would take away her negative thoughts. It didn't happen right away, but comforting, positive thoughts began slipping into her mind bit by bit over the next few hours. During the time of her purely negative thoughts, she could feel herself being snappy with the doctors and nurses, and she knew that it was only a matter of time before she turned on her husband and children. She told us that she knows a broken leg isn't as big a problem as many of the problems of sisters in our ward, but she hoped we would be willing to share with the class any experience, large or small, where our thoughts affected us.
S.S. was the first to speak. She told us about how her husband is one of eight children, and when she first learned of this, S. thought his mother must be crazy. When she met her, she couldn't believe how nice she was, and thought she must be faking it. S. found out that her husband's mother had made a covenant with God after her first few children were born that she would not raise her voice with her children, or say any negative things to them. S. could not believe that a person could do this, but her husband told her that his mother had indeed kept her promise to the Lord. S.'s initial reaction was to say to herself that yelling a lot at your kids is not that big of a deal. But when she hears her 7 1/2 year old emulating her, mothering her little sisters, and she raises her voice with them, S. can see that she doesn't want that for her family. She told us that she has been reading her scriptures and praying for help to not be harsh or nasty in her reactions to her children. She feels better about herself and her relationship with them. She can now see where her mother-in-law was coming from when she made this commitment to the Lord, and it gives her a direction to aim for.
Next, L.J. shared a strategy that worked for her. She has never been much of a little kid person, but she knew she wanted big kids, and thus had to start with little ones. She just told herself this over and over when her children were small (have to have little kids to get big kids), and it helped her get through her days.
P.F. told us that she struggles daily with negative thoughts. In her work, she is in front of people all day, and has to be so careful to not start down a negative path in her mind so that she can control what she says and does around her customers. She has made a commitment to study the scriptures in the morning before work. She has never been a very good memorizer, but the other day she found some scriptures that she really wanted to learn to help her with her negative thoughts. She was able to memorize 4 verses in 10 minutes, which is a miracle. Those 4 verses, as well as the words to a hymn that took her two months to memorize, repeated over and over, along with a constant prayer in her heart, help her get through the difficult moments.
Michelle responded by saying that during our Mother's Day musical tribute, she heard the song "I Feel My Savior's Love" and felt prompted to memorize that word to that hymn. She also mentioned the title of a book her mother had once read: "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought." She said that negative thinking actually causes physiological changes to take place in our bodies that are harmful to us.
S.S. said that when she feels tension at home and wants to yell she has been trying to break into song instead. Her children know the words to many primary songs, and singing these cuts the tension.
S.S. (#2) said in response to P.F. that she has felt a sweet feeling around her place of business and now she realizes that it was the Spirit brought by P.'s prayers and efforts. She also said that when she is having a hard week she reminds herself that in just a few days she'll be back together with her fellow saints on Sunday.
T.B. said that she beats herself up constantly. When she has a bad thought, she gets upset with herself for having it. She's learned that if she can embrace the thought, it helps her to deal with and move past it. She said that as a child she was surrounded by the darkness of her parents' unkindnesses toward her. As hard as she tries to change her thoughts today, their voices still echo in her head, dragging her down. She prays every day for help, but it is not enough.
To this, Michelle responded, "it is enough." She said that she had wanted to talk about exceptions. She told us that for those of us with backgrounds of abuse, or who struggle with depression and other mental illnesses, it is harder to fight negative thoughts. She said that in praying for a loved one recently, who struggles with untreated depression and bipolar illness, and can be unkind, she felt the Lord tell her that this loved one is doing everything He wants her to do, and that in His eyes she is just fine. Heavenly Father understands our struggles and the origins of them. She read us a quote by David O. McKay, who said that the thought in our mind right now is contributing to the shaping of our soul. How we think, Michelle said, affects how we look. We can become more beautiful by filling our minds with positive thoughts. Others will be more attracted to us, and feel that they are near their Savior when they are with us. She asked us to get out our papers where we had written our thoughts. She told us that for every negative thought on our paper, we should write a positive response to it. She thanked us for sharing our experiences with the class, and for baring our souls. She told us that God has given us the ability to change our negative thoughts through prayer and the Atonement so that we can be filled with light.
1 comment:
WoW what a lesson!Andrea thanks so much for doing this! I love reading your summaries of the lessons and thanks for posting info on the new people. Then when I get back I'll know who is new and who has been around for a few months. I'm glad that the spirit is the same everywhere I go but because I am in a place where I know few people it is really nice to still fill connected to AA2nd. Thanks!
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