22 July 2007 Michelle Rackley on "The Healing Power of Forgiveness"

Michelle Rackley taught our Sunday lesson on James E. Faust's April 2007 General Conference talk, "The Healing Power of Forgiveness". Elder Faust told many stories in his talk, but Michelle was especially touched by his account of the Amish community in Pennsylvania that freely forgave the family of the milkman who killed 5 of their daughters and then took his own life. Michelle shared the story of a family in California whose 11 year old daughter was abducted, raped, and murdered. The perpetrator was caught and put in jail. This family visited him in prison, and after he was beaten to death by fellow inmates, attended his funeral. 3 Nephi 1 describes the Nephite preparation for Christ's birth. Wicked members of the community were threatening to kill those church members who believed in a sign that would come to tell them of Christ's arrival across the sea. When the sign does appear, it causes many to repent and join themselves to the church (see verses 9, 15-17, 23). Can you imagine attending church with people who had planned to kill you?

Michelle told another story of two LDS boys who were leaders among their peers. In high school these boys got involved in drugs and alcohol, and many of the active LDS teens followed after them. The two boys eventually repented, served honorable missions, and married in the temple. But a number of the people who they influenced to stray never returned. Can you imagine how it would feel to be the parent of one of the children who had been permanently affected by this event, and to see the men who had started it all participating actively in the church, possibly in a priesthood leadership position? She related this to the story of Alma the Younger and the sons of Mosiah, reading from Mosiah 27 verses 8-10, 24, 28, and 32. Alma, who had led so many astray, went on to become the prophet.

The next example Michelle gave was of forgiving ourselves. For this she used the story of Joseph Smith when he allowed Martin Harris to take the Book of Mormon manuscript and then lost it. He was devastated when he heard that Martin had lost the manuscript. The angel took back the plates and the urim and thumim. But after a short time, during which Joseph sincerely repented, these things were returned, and Joseph received a message that God was pleased with him. If Joseph had not been able to forgive himself for this mistake, could he have finished the work of translating the Book of Mormon?

Michelle's final example of forgiveness was from 3 Nephi 8. This is the account of the natural disasters and destruction that took place in the new world at the time of the Savior's death. As Michelle put it, it was Hurricane Katrina times ten. She pointed out that this is an excellent example of forgiving life in general...bad things that happen to us that cannot really be blamed on anyone. We can choose to be bitter, or we can choose to have our hearts softened.

How does forgiveness work in your life? L.S.: forgiveness does not mean to reconcile, necessarily, but to let go and move on. With the help of the spirit, I've been able to let go, but that doesn't mean that I'm friends with that person anymore, because I don't trust them anymore.

S.T.: I like what L. said. But the Amish went out of their way to reach out to the family of the milkman. We don't know how to handle anger. But they didn't lash out at his family.

L.J.: It is a mystery why forgiveness is instantaneous for some people and takes so much time for others. Leave a space in your heart for forgiveness so that it can come in when the time is right. A man's whose whole family was killed by a drunk driver found the motivation to forgive because he wanted to be reunited with his family in the next life. Instead of saying I can't forgive, say I can't forgive right now, but I'm leaving a space for it.

L.J.: Not forgiving is too expensive. I don't want to pay the price of hanging on to the hurt.

J.E.: It is a personal transformation. I have a relative who doesn't like me. I forgive her, but I also find that I need to stay away from her.

S.T.: How do you teach people to forgive?

L.R.: I think we're born knowing how to forgive, but we unlearn it.

P.F.: A lot of it is what you see in your family. We all argue and fight at home. You can show your children right then how to make up after fighting. Are you going to use the silent treatment? Will you hold a grudge? Or will you apologize?

M.G.: Bearing testimony strengthens it. Forgiveness is similar...the more we do it, the better we get at it. Sometimes we want to forgive, but it is so hard. We can tell the Lord that we are trying, and he can help us.

S.S.: The life of Joseph Smith is a great example of forgiving (see D & C 3). He was betrayed again and again, and he says "I frankly forgave the man." He wrote a letter to W.W. Phelps after being betrayed, and forgave him.

Michelle: Nephi frankly forgives his brothers and they continue on their journey.

L.Q.: People can do things to me and I don't care, but when people hurt my family it is harder to forgive. Heavenly Father says we have to forgive, though. I have to stop dwelling on it.

L.J.: I try to remember how much I need forgiveness for my own shortcomings. We actually hurt and offend others, and we need forgiveness, so we shouldn't withhold it.

Michelle: To close, the Lord taught us to love our enemies. How do non-Christians view Christians? Christians are people who teach that we should return love for hate. Think of something you need to let go of. Do you want to? Can you? Can Christ help you? Christ's atonement makes it possible for us to forgive and be forgiven. Jesus taught us to love our enemies.

Prez Says: The Lives That Touch Ours

The Prez Says… President Hinckley stated, “All of us, in our various situations, are the result, largely, of the lives that touch ours.” Every day we are affected, for good or ill, by those whom we come in contact with.

One reason that I love to come to church every Sunday is that my contact with the members of our ward encourages and inspires me to live more closely to gospel standards. While none of us is perfect, I see your goodness and your efforts to do your best in your lives. I see your willingness to serve one another, and to encourage each others’ spiritual growth. At weekly meetings I see the strong testimonies, dedication, and love that our good Bishop and priesthood leaders demonstrate for every member of our ward.

I love associating with each of you. It is a blessing for me to be surrounded by your influence. It helps me navigate through the challenges and temptations of the world. It helps me to want to do and be better. In 1 Thessalonians 2:4, Paul says that he speaks, not to please men, but to please God. I am continually touched by your actions and decisions that please God and help me to keep perspective in the clamor of the world. Feeling the Spirit at our meetings grounds me, and helps me stay focused on the things that really matter. I am thankful to be touched by your testimonies and works, I am grateful to you for helping me along the way on my journey, and I love associating with each of you.

Four New RS Sisters

This Sunday we welcomed four new sisters to our Relief Society. I have pictures of three of them, and a tiny bit of information about them. Stay tuned for their self-introductions, which I will post when I get them. First, we met Renee Mitchell:

Many of us have been in the same ward with Renee in the past, and we are so happy to be reunited. She has three children, ages 20, 19 and 17.

Next is Annette Tang, who has moved here with her husband and 4 children, ages 5, 4, 2 and 3 months. They will be here for 6 years doing an oral surgery residency:


Third, Karri Smyer. Her huband has been here for about 6 weeks, so many of you might know who he is. They are here for 3 years for law school:


And last, but certainly not least, our very own Leslie Smith has turned 18 and joined us in Relief Society. I don't have a picture of her, because I think everyone knows what she looks like.

15 July 2007 SWK #14 "Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me" by Sondra Soderborg

Our lesson Sunday was taught by Sondra Soderborg from the Spencer W. Kimball Manual Chapter 14: "Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me." Sondra still remembers the General Conference talk given by President Kimball "The False Gods We Worship" printed in the June 1976 Ensign. This was an important theme in his presidency. While preparing for this lesson, Sondra was impressed by a scripture in D&C 1:16. She felt that she needed to think about this verse during the youth conference trip to Palmyra. The phrase that jumped off the page when she read it was "walketh in his own way" and that this is equivalent to idolatry. She asked herself this question: "in what (small) ways am I interfering with my ability to worship God because of my willfulness?" She felt that with this question in mind, youth conference was a series of parables designed to answer that question for her.

First was the Parable of the Pants. Their youth conference "family" was assigned to go to the temple the first night. The youth were tired, and not particularly happy with dinner. One boys said "I'm not going." Sondra and Nathan wanted all of the youth in their group to go to the temple, so they sent him into the church with the others to change into temple-appropriate clothes. Minutes after the others had come out, this boy was still in the bathroom. Nathan went in after him, only to find him muttering to himself that he couldn't go to the temple because his church pants didn't fit. Somehow the wrong pair had been packed. Now that he was faced with the possibility of not being able to go to the temple, he realized that he wanted to go. He ended up wearing shorts with his church shoes, socks, shirt and tie, and was allowed to enter and participate in baptisms with the others. Sondra was struck by the realization that sometimes our willfulness gets in the way of what we actually want on a deeper level. She didn't particularly want to go to youth conference, but she knew that it was likely to be a good experience for her. When we stubbornly resist certain things, we can get in our own way of getting what we really want.

She didn't give a name to the second parable, but it could be the Parable of the Sacred Grove. Early on in the trip, they gathered their "family" to set goals together. Sondra had thought of some very concrete goals, such as taking responsibility for one's self, and keeping hands off others and their stuff. As she was explaining these goals to the group, a realization opened up in her mind that these temporal-seeming goals were in fact spiritual. She saw that without following principles of self-management, we limit our ability to feel the Spirit. As she tried to explain this to the youth, the Spirit was there, and led them to a discussion of more spiritual goals. One of the boys said that when they were in the Sacred Grove, they should have time alone, because it is a powerful spiritual place. Sondra felt herself clenching against this suggestion. When they go to the Grove, and they separated into small groups, she felt resistant. She had heard so many people talk about sacred experiences that increased their testimonies in the Grove, that having an experience like that seemed like a cliche, and she did not want to experience a cliche. But she did want to gain a stronger testimony of the restoration. Because she was thinking about this lesson during the trip, she was aware that her resistance to the Sacred Grove "experience" might be getting in her way. She was able to sense the temple-like atmosphere of that place, and was given a gift from the Spirit of a strengthened testimony of Joseph Smith that was very personal, not a cliche at all.

Being in Palmyra really helped her think about consecration and what it means to truly worship God. It struck her there that she is easily distracted by things that she spends time and energy on that really don't further the kingdom of God. She gives too much attention and respect to her own will [potato girl note: who doesn't?] She invited us to take a moment to think, what things are distracting you? Is there a false God in your life?

S.H. talked about how she read the lesson this week, and was struck by the story of President Kimball giving up his schooling to accept a calling in the Stake Presidency. She has recently decided to go back to school, and feels like this is the right decision for her, but worries about the time she spends away from her children. This week she's been really thinking about her true purpose and goals.

S.T. shared a story about her son-in-law, who was treated for cancer during the first year of his marriage. Shortly after the cancer went into remission, he and his wife decided to find a bigger house and start a family. Then he was called into the Bishopric. To accept the calling, he would have to give up his search for the new house he wanted. He decided that he could express his thanks to God for sparing his life by accepting the calling and staying in the tiny house.

Sondra told us that she has never been disappointed when she has made a choice that she thought the Lord wanted her to make. When we have chosen to serve the kingdom of God, we've been blessed so abundantly and miraculously. Trying to consecrate our lives is in fact an easier course. She referred us to this statement, which was on the board throughout the lesson:

"Because the exercise of faith has always appeared to be more difficult than relying on things immediately at hand, carnal man has tended to transfer his trust in God to material things."

Prez Says: Let Go

The Prez Says… One quiet afternoon an 18-month old girl was playing under the kitchen table. She suddenly let out a piercing shriek, followed by louder, wilder, eardrum splitting screams. Her mother dragged her out from under the table and looked her over. Her tiny fist, clenched in a death grip, was swollen twice its normal size. As her fingers were pried open, a wasp flew out. She had been stung multiple times because her instinct was to clutch her hand tightly because of the pain. She had not yet learned that wasps do more damage when held tightly than when hands are kept open.

I haven’t been bothered by a wasp lately, but I have been worried, anxious, and bothered about something. I have clenched the worry tightly inside, acutely aware of its accompanying pain and suffering, but not letting go of it. I’ve been afraid that if I let go, things won’t turn out the way I want them to. There’s a part of me that is certain that there is a way for me to control the situation and outcome. Like that toddler, it appears that I haven’t yet learned that more damage is done by holding on tightly than by letting go of my willful agenda.

Mormon declared, “And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.” (Words of Mormon 1:7) I know that God has a plan for each of us, and it is only by submitting and opening ourselves to Him that we can begin to realize His will for us. He knows us and our possibilities much better than we do. We can trust His loving omniscience. Such trust is not a singular decision or event, but is chosen and practiced throughout our lives. I recognize that I’ve been holding tight to a worry, and I see the folly of thinking that I know best about how things should turn out. I am letting go of this pesky “wasp” to put myself in the Lord’s hands. He fully knows what’s best for me.

8 July 2007

Sorry, Sisters...I attended Relief Society in Washington D.C. today. I sure missed you. Please write in if you made it to our lesson.

Prez Says: Land of the Free

The Prez Says… This past week we once again celebrated our nationhood, on the anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Living in America is a blessing worth thinking about more frequently than on national holidays. There is no country that compares with the United States. America is a land of promise, a land of choice above all others, founded by good and noble men who were inspired by God. This land was not only founded by God, but preserved by Him. We owe our privileges and prosperity to God, and we have a responsibility to govern this land with righteousness. Proverbs 14:34 confirms that “righteousness exalteth a nation.”

More than 175 years ago, French historian and philosopher Alexis de Tocqueville visited America to observe and analyze why freedom was successful here. He reported, “Not until I went to the churches of America and heard her pulpits aflame with righteousness did I understand the secret of her genius and power. America is great because she is good and if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.” He noted that it was goodness and righteousness that bound the melting pot of American citizens together. America can be no stronger than the goodness of her people. John Adams said, “To be good and to do good is all we have to do.”

Freedom is not free. Each of us has the opportunity and responsibility to do good and to live righteously to keep America great. Let us never take for granted the blessing and privilege of living in this free country.

1 July 2007: Kathy Diehl on The Atonement

When we arrived in RS today, Kathy had already written this quote on the board, by Bruce Hafen:

"While no other success of ours can compensate for failures within or outside our homes, there is a success that can compensate when we cannot, after we conscientiously do all we can. That success is the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which can mend what for us is beyond repair."

Kathy began the lesson by talking about the Mackinac Bridge, which is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year. It is the 3rd longest bridge in the world, and the longest suspension bridge. It is made of 42,000 miles of cable, and is 55 stories high. Before it opened, it could take as long as 24 hours waiting in line to get on the ferry that connected the upper and lower peninsulas. Several people died while making the bridge, but we usually don't think about how it was built. That is, unless we happen to be on the bridge during a storm. Then we might find ourselves wondering if it was really built to withstand the wind or the rain or the ice, and when it holds, we may think gratefully of those who designed and built it. Life can be like that...when it is smooth we don't give much thought to those who sacrificed before us, including the Savior. But in times of trouble, our minds are turned to Him.

Our theme for Relief Society this year is softening our hearts, and each of the presidency-discretion lessons, which are taught on the first Sunday of the month, is designed to help us think more about this theme. Thinking about the Savior and His atoning sacrifice helps to soften our hearts.

We can't talk about the atonement without mentioning the plan of salvation and the fall of Adam and Eve. Kathy grew up in the Catholic church, where it was clearly taught that if Adam and Eve hadn't transgressed and partaken of the forbidden fruit, we would all still be living in paradise. The restored gospel teaches us that Adam and Eve's decision, instead of being a mistake, was a necessary part of God's plan for us. Without their transgression, we would never have been born. What did Adam and Eve learn after they left the garden?

TB: They learned that parenting is really hard.
Kathy: They learned all about troubled families.
OT: They learned the power of obedience.
Kathy: They learned by experience along the way. Did they ever make mistakes? They weren't perfect, but they learned along the way.
SP: They had a long time to learn. They lived 800 years of so. I'm glad for how old I am because of all I learn each year.
Kathy: The fall gives us the chance to learn. The plan of salvation is developmental. Although Christ atoned for their sins, that did not mean that Adam and Eve got to go back to the Garden and to the way things were before.
TB: They learned the power of loneliness. There were no other adults for them to talk to. Eve had no other women to help her through childbirth. They were cut off from God. They felt such an intense drive to reconnect with God, and this opportunity was provided them by the atonement.
Kathy: They experienced life in God's presence, as well as life separated from His presence.

NM: One of my husband's ancestors died while working on the Mackinac Bridge. Because of that, crossing the bridge is a very meaningful experience for his family. It means something personal to them. The atonement needs to be personal for each one of us.
Kathy: Look at the word "one" embedded in the word "atonement." The atonement happens one person at a time. Adam and Eve learned about hard work, they learned about not having enough resources, they learned about conflict with children and each other. Sometimes we think that because of our problems we're not going to make it back to God's presence. But we are here on earth to have problems. Ether 12:27 tells us that God gives us weaknesses so that we can be humble, and that if we'll come to Him, He will help our weaknesses become strengths. If we are becoming more aware of our weaknesses, we're getting closer to God. Bruce R. McKonkie once said that a lot more people are going to make it to God's kingdom than we think. We just need to want that with all our hearts.

LQ: Small daughter called out to her from bed. She went in to her to comfort her and then asked, why do you call out? Why don't you just come to me? The small girl answered that she wanted to know that her mother was there and was listening to her. As L. went back to her room, she felt the Lord asking her, "why don't you just come to me?" She realized that even when she doesn't go to Him for help, He comes to her.

Kathy: What do we need to do to access the blessings of the atonement?
LJ: How do you get a relationship with the Savior, or with anyone? Through repentance. At times you can't create a sense of well-being for yourself, but on your knees in prayer, if floods your soul. Try to read and understand what happened when Christ atoned for our sins.
Kathy: What a blessing repentance is. How good it is to go to Him and pour out our hearts. Picture summer on Temple Square in Salt Lake City. How do you think those gardens got that way?
LH: When I'm out in my garden weeding, I think of Adam and Eve, and how they learned about "noxious weeds." It inspires me to keep weeding. I think a lot of weeding goes on at Temple Square.
Kathy: What happens to weeds if we mow them down? We need to pull them out by the roots. This is similar to repentance.

OT: A friend is having problems with her son. She says that she know the Lord won't let certain bad things happen to him. I want to help her understand that we need to repent, and get a clean opening, a connection with God so that we can really pray and find out from Him the truth of things.
Kathy: Faith does not protect us from bad things.
LS: The flowers on Temple Square receive individualized attention. I need to find my own answers to my personal questions and needs, not a general blanket answer for the whole church. I need personal instruction from God.

MR: Ryan Earp recently taught a lesson in Elder's Quorum about the atonement. He presented a scenario that he'd heard in a class at BYU. The professor said suppose you committed sexual sins before your mission, but repented and served honorably. Now you are engaged to a worthy young woman who asks if you've ever had problems with the law of chastity. What do you answer her? The BYU professor said the correct answer is to tell her no, you've never had a problem with that law. This is because you have repented and been cleansed by the Lord through the atonement, and it is as if that sin never occurred. This story has helped M. be more forgiving of the mistakes that she makes. She can tell herself that because of her sincere repentance and the atonement, it is as if those mistakes never happened.

Kathy: We often get caught up in the phrase "after all that we can do." How do we know when we have done all we can?
TB: I try to do it alone. But Jesus needs to be with us through the whole process. I recently tried to imagine him with me every step of the way, and I knew when I'd done all that I could do and could then turn it over to Him. We need to let go of our control-everything lives. Ask the Savior to walk with you from the beginning.
Kathy: It is scary to give up control. As I was preparing this lesson, it wasn't coming together. I got her today and it still didn't feel together. I don't like to feel out of control. But when we let go and let the spirit guide it is OK. The atonement compensates for more than just sin. It covers any kind of pain, difficulty, loneliness, disappointment, mistake, inadequacy. He bled from every pore for each person. There is no greater expression of love. As I think about the Savior, it does soften my heart.