Thursday, May 24, 2007

Prez Says: Turn Toward the Light

The Prez Says: I planted some flowers this week, feeling drawn to go outside to soak up and enjoy the sunlight. I reflected on how amazing it is that plants literally turn toward the sunlight. The basic laws of photochemistry state that light must be absorbed in order to produce any kind of reaction which in turn produces energy. Remarkably, plants seem to realize their literal life-dependence on light. Rather than sitting idly by, though rooted to the ground and severely restricted in their mobility, they use what ability they do have to turn towards the light and maximize their capacity to receive it. They don’t wait around for the light to zap them.

According to scripture, light literally is truth. God doesn’t just possess light and truth, but IS Light and Truth (see John 8:12; D&C 84:85). Therefore, when we seek light, we are seeking Him. Why then is it that we, who have infinitely more capability than plants to actively seek light and truth, sometimes remain so sedentary, waiting for the Light to find us? Let’s actively commit to never let a day pass by without turning toward the Light of Christ.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Al Wimmer & Cynthia Christensen on Home and Visiting Teaching

Yesterday was our Ward Conference. Sacrament meeting went a little longer than usual, and then instead of Sunday School, we had a joint Priesthood/ Relief Society lesson taught by Al Wimmer, with a short wrap-up at the end by Cynthia Christensen. I was, unfortunately, late for class, and thus missed the beginning. If anyone is reading this and cares to add a comment about what happened before I arrived, please do so.

The topic of the lesson was home and visiting teaching. When I arrived, Al was passing on some counsel that he had heard President Mallory give. He suggested that we try to find out the goals of the family we are visiting--not just their spiritual goals, but the everyday, temporal things they are working on. When we know more about what they are trying to accomplish, we can offer our services in a way that will make our visits part of the solution, instead of an intrusion in their already overly full lives. We can think of this effort as "Home and Family Service."

Then Al reminded us that President Hedquist wants us to focus on home and visiting teaching as a way of building relationships with individuals and families. It is about people, not numbers. Sister Elaine Jack, he told us, has said that we cannot always lift the burden from another person, but we can try to lift the person, giving him or her added strength to lift their own burdens.

Al then turned the time over to four people he had asked to share personal experiences with home or visiting teaching. The first to speak was Rebecca Shaw, who shared the story of when she found out she needed to be hospitalized. She didn't know how she could do this with a three-month old baby, a husband on his way out of town, and her family on the other side of the country. But her visiting teachers came to her aid as they took charge of the care of her baby so that she could focus on getting well.

The next story was by Shirley Thornton. She told us about the time when she was a young mother with three or four little children and a husband in graduate school. Her shoulder was dislocated in a car accident, and her arm was in a sling. Her visiting teachers stopped by at the end of the month. They had not heard about her accident, but instead of trying to find out how they could help her through this difficult time, they told Shirley that they were in a hurry and had to go. This hurt Shirley, and she determined then to try to be more sensitive to the needs of the sisters she visited, and to make a point of going to see them early in the month, and not at the very end.

Our third story was by Tom Cotton. He told of his experience as the home teacher to a wheelchair-bound sister who was quite needy. He was frustrated by all of the things she wanted other people to do for her, but he was able to find a way of serving her that he felt good about. He offered to work on her family history, researching her family tree back several generations. With the help of his wife and the woman's son, they were able to do the temple work for many of her family members, and then help her participate in their sealings.

Our final story was by Bob Pace. He told us about his first home teaching assignment here in Michigan in the 1950s when he had a 75-mile route with 8 families. He was able to re-activate one of the brothers on his route. Then in 1983, while living in Utah, Bob came back to Michigan to baptize his mother. He was worried about who would take care of her as a new member, with him all the way in Utah. But then he found out that her new home teacher would be Dave Downie, the same brother that Bob had helped to re-activate as a home teacher in the 1950s.

To close the lesson, Cynthia Christensen re-iterated the message of Bob's experience, reminding us of the ripple affect our service in the church can have. She told us that she will always remember the counsel of President Quinn, who told us to pray daily, by name, for each of the people we visit or home teach. Doing this will help us to think of them each day, to remember them. This will make it easier for us to receive revelation from God on their behalf.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Prez Says: Choosing How We Use Our Time

*Dear Sisters: Kathy has agreed to let me post her weekly "Prez Says" column here on our blog, so keep an eye out for it each week, in addition to notes on our Sunday lessons*

The Prez Says...

I talked with a man this week who said that he knows what he should do, but he never gets around to actually doing what it takes to be a good father to his young children. Like you and me, he has 24 hours available every day. But there are many activities that distract and lead him away from time with his children. We talked about how he wants his children to feel abut him in the future, and whether his current behavior and activities are likely to build the outcome that he hopes for.

How we allocate our time and attention determines our outcome. The difference between Paris Hilton and Mother Teresa is the way they have chosen to allocate their time. They both built their reputations by consistently choosing how they would fill each day. One has chosen selfishly, while the other consistently chose to serve selflessly. We don’t have to try to be Mother Teresa, but she was a shining example of choosing righteousness. Each day the forces of evil and the forces of good enlist new recruits. Each day we personally make many decisions showing which cause we support, and we are building the foundations of our own final outcomes. Joshua entreated, “Choose you this day whom ye will serve…as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15) Choosing to serve and draw closer to the Lord promises that our outcome will be one of peace and joy.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Kathy Diehl and Heather Wimmer on Mothers

Because of our special two-hour Mother's Day extravaganza, we had two great lessons today. The first was a short talk given by our beloved President, Kathy Diehl. I want to thank her for emailing me the text of her message:

I’d like to credit Sherri Dew for the content and ideas expressed below. Her latest book, “No One Can Take Your Place” includes a chapter, “Are We All Not Mothers?” from which the bulk of this talk was taken.

I want to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day. At times the words ‘mother’ and ‘motherhood’ have divided rather than united us. Some of us feel guilty about having children who didn’t turn out the way we had hoped and prayed; some of us had mothers who were abusive, unloving, bad examples; some of us fiercely miss our mothers who have passed away; some of us haven’t been given the opportunity to have children. Motherhood can be a tender subject that can evoke strong emotion, ranging from great joy to great heartache.

As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers, and we have always been mothers. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits and talents that our Father in Heaven gave us. We tend to equate motherhood with maternity, but in the Lord’s language the word mother has layers of meaning. Eve was called “the mother of all living” before she ever bore a child. Moses 4:26 says, “And Adam called his wife’s name Eve because she was the mother of all living; for thus have I the Lord God, called the first of all women, which are many.” The Lord does nothing with a short-range view; our motherhood began before we were born. Motherhood is more than the bearing of children, though it is certainly that.

Prophets have taught the doctrine of motherhood again and again, without the slightest variation. What does this doctrine mean to all women? That motherhood is divine and eternal and core to the nature of every woman. It is the work of the women of God. Elder Matthew Cowley of the Quorum of the Twelve taught that “women are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls…the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.” Motherhood has an unparalleled role in helping God’s children keep their second estate.

For reasons known only to the Lord, some women are required to wait to have children. The delay and the disappointment are not easy for any righteous woman. But the Lord’s timetable doesn’t change our very nature. We are all needed as mothers; all around us are those who need to be loved and led, nurtured and mentored. The spiritual rewards of mothering are available to all. Few of us reach our potential without the nurturing of mothers—the mothers who bore us and the mothers we have been blessed to have as Primary teachers, visiting teachers, youth leaders, neighbors, friends, and maybe even a Relief Society president. These mothers in Israel have loved us, encouraged us, and helped us build a sense of confidence, safety and security while they have shown us where to find peace and truth. Motherhood is not only about those we have borne, but also about those we are willing to bear with. Every woman can show by word and by deed that the work of women in the Lord’s kingdom is magnificent and holy. And our work influences not only the here and now, but reaches into the eternities.

Mother is the word that will define a righteous woman made perfect in the highest degree of the celestial kingdom. Let us stand united and steadfast as mothers in Israel and as women of God. As mothers we have a sacred stewardship and a holy crown in the kingdom of God. Today we celebrate that we are all mothers, and we have always been mothers. Happy mothers day!

After Kathy's message, we enjoyed listening to Brandon Bascom play three pieces on the piano, followed by Leslie Richards, who played four pieces on the viola. Then we enjoyed yummy treats in the cultural hall.

For the last hour, we gathered in the Relief Society room for a lesson by Heather Wimmer about celebrating the women in our lives who have mothered us. She started with this quote by President Hinckley: "Gratitude is the very essence of worship." And D&C 59:7 "Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things." She explained that she would like to spend this time expressing our gratitude for the women in our lives who have mothered us in various ways.

She began by sharing some stories from her own mother's life, who Heather said is one of her treasures. Heather's mother married a lieutenant in the air force after only ten dates (including the day they went to the temple). She quit her job as a teacher so they could move to France, where she expected to start a family. But after two years, they had been unable to conceive. She received a blessing from a visiting general authority who promised her that if she had sufficient faith, she would be able to have children.

Upon their return to the United States, they visited a friend, Dr. Wooley. Heather's mother asked him if he ever came across any extra babies that needed a home. He said that from time to time, he did meet young mothers who were looking for a family to adopt their babies. It was in this way that Heather's parents were able to adopt first a baby girl, and then a baby boy. When their little girl was old enough to talk, she told Heather's mother that she was praying for a baby sister to come to her mother's tummy. Heather's mother explained that it might be better for her to pray for Dr. Wooley to find them a baby sister, since she had never been able to have a baby in her own tummy. But the little girl insisted that Heavenly Father could do anything, even put a baby sister in her mother's tummy. So Heather's mother joined her prayers with those of her little girl, and in time, she found out that she was indeed pregnant. That little baby was Heather! It was a very difficult, risky pregnancy, but she got through it with the help of many, including her husband. She had two more daughters before her doctor warned her that another pregnancy would probably kill her.

After sharing these experiences, Heather told us some of her mother's favorite expressions. One is "Motherhood is not a popularity contest." Another: "Cut the dramatics." Or, "Failed motherhood again!" This last one was not meant to lay a guilt trip on her teenage daughters, but to comfort herself that she'd have another chance, another day. To conclude her tribute to her own mother, Heather read us Philippians 1:3 "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you."

The next part of the lesson involved all of us splitting into small groups to discuss women in our lives who have mothered us. Each group was given a piece of paper to guide their discussion.

The first group was to discuss the word "Bear" by reading 1 Samuel 1: 19-20. Do you know the story of your birth? Tell about your birth mother's gift of life to you.

The second group's word was "Nurture" with D&C 121: 41-42. Bonnie D. Parkin said that nurturing feels like the words in these verses. Who are the women that have nurtured you? Tell about someone who mothered you by nurturing you.

The third group talked about "Protect" by reading 1 Nephi 5:7-9. Mothers always want to protect their children, but can't always do it. How has a mother protected you? Do you know of a prayer or prayers for your protection? Tell about someone mothering you by protecting you or praying for you.

Group four did "Teach" with Alma 56: 47-48. One of the main jobs of mothering is teaching. Who has mothered you by teaching you about faith? What did she teach you? Share your experience about this mother.

The last group had "Lead." Their scriptures were 2 Nephi 31: 9-10 and Proverbs 31:10. As Jesus Christ showed, the best leading is by example. Share an example of a virtuous woman whose influence and example has touched you.

Unfortunately, there was not enough time for each group to report back on their discussion to the rest of us. If anyone is reading this and would like to report on what you talked about in your small group, please leave a comment for us to enjoy. Heather closed with this quote by Sheri Dew from her talk "Are We Not All Mothers?":

Every one of us has an overarching obligation to model righteous womanhood because our youth may not see it anywhere else. Every sister in Relief Society, which is the most significant community of women on this side of the veil, is responsible to help our young women make a joyful transition into Relief Society. This means our friendship with them must begin long before they turn 18. Every one of us can mother someone--beginning, of course, with the children in our own families but extending far beyond. Every one of us can show by word and by deed that the work of women in the Lord's kingdom is magnificent and holy. I repeat: We are all mothers in Israel, and our calling is to love and help lead the rising generation through the dangerous streets of mortality.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

SWK #9: Forgiving Others with All our Hearts

Tammy Stafford taught our lesson on Sunday, from the Spencer W. Kimball manual, lesson #9: Forgiving Others with All Our Hearts. There are so many dimensions to forgiveness, she said. Imperfection causes conflict. A person causes hurt to another, small or large, intentional or accidental. The victim of the hurt can retaliate in anger, thereby hurting the original perpetrator. We can hurt ourselves. As she was preparing to teach the lesson, Tammy felt overwhelmed by the diversity of the sisters she would be presenting to, and wondered how she could present a lesson that would be suitable for all of us. She had someone read quote #1: "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:10).

Tammy said that this scripture answered her concerns...we are required to forgive all men, regardless of the size of the offense or any other factor. There are no qualifiers in this scripture. Someone else read quote #2: "When they have repented and come on their knees to ask forgiveness, most of us can forgive, but the Lord has required that we shall forgive even if they do not repent nor ask forgiveness of us..." (SWK 97). We have to forgive even the unrepentant. The D&C scripture focuses on the victim, the hurt person. Ours is a god of love, and his commandments are love-based. The commandment to forgive all men is for our spiritual health and progress. Tammy wrote on the board: "Forgiveness: Why? What? How?" She said that what we had just discussed was the Why.

Now to the What. What happens in our mind when we forgive? M. said we can't forget entirely, but we can cast our burden on Christ and find peace. Tammy said we give up our claim to justice. Our anger is justified, but God wants us to turn it over to him. Quote #4: "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord" (Romans 12:19). The act of turning justice over to the Lord is huge and hard, but being right is not the issue. We need to be unburdened from the anger and hate and give vengeance to God. L. said that when we forgive others, we are, in effect, trading in our own sins. We can forgive, but we don't have to trust that person again. If we want to be forgiven for our sins, we can't say that the Savior's atonement doesn't count for another. S. said that forgiveness and repentance go together because we often need to repent of the anger we feel after someone has hurt us. Another sister said that we need to remember that as much as some people test our patience, we are surely testing someone else's patience. Tammy remembered a time when someone asked her if maternal guilt had set in yet. She answered, "No, I'm a thorn in their side that God gave them." P. asked if we need to continue spending time with someone after they've hurt us. T. said that separation from someone who's hurt you can be a blessing to them. Tammy said that forgiving someone is not the same as saying that the hurt is okay. It also does not necessarily mean becoming a friend with this person. Forgiveness is refocusing--changing the focus of our heart from the hurt or the hurter to the people we love, our work, et cetera. We become free. Someone on a television program said that we give power to what we focus on. S. said that forgiveness is about having a clean heart. L. said that if the hurt someone has done against you is a crime, you can forgive them and still press charges. T. said that to remove someone from committing the crime again is a service to them. N. said the benefit of refocusing is that it becomes easier to forget the hurt.

How do we forgive? M. said that Christ has already borne the burden of the hurt, so why are we holding on to it too? What a waste of his sacrifice. Tammy invited her mother, Lea, to share a personal experience with forgiveness. Lea was in the temple, and saw someone that had hurt people she loved. She felt angry, and prayed that the Lord would help her to stop feeling that way...she didn't want to have those feelings in the temple. The feelings left. The thought came to her that she was not responsible for this person and the things he had done, and she should not allow his actions to remove her peace. She learned two things from this experience: 1) painful feelings are to remain with the perpetrator; 2) forgiveness is a gift of the atonement. L. told of her experience growing up Catholic, and how much it helped her as a young woman to be able to light a candle when she needed to get rid of any bad feelings she was having. She said that even today, it helps her to do something concrete like this when she needs to let go of something. Quote #5: "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ" (Moroni 7:48). We can give the hurt to God and he can give us peace.