Shauri Quinn taught our lesson today, SWK #11: "Provident Living: Applying Principles of Self-Reliance and Preparedness." She began by asking us what it means to be self-reliant. We answered that you can take care of yourself. Shauri divided the principle into three buckets: financial, spiritual, and emotional.
Financial self-reliance: be a nut saver; don't spend more than you take in; beware of credit cards and buying things that you don't have the cash to pay for. Learn to determine accurately the difference between a need and a want. Bargain shop, or don't shop at all. Get an education. Be prepared to support your family.
Spiritual self-reliance: practice/ develop confidence in getting answers to your own prayers. How do you know when the Lord is speaking to you? A priesthood blessing; study the scriptures; read Patriarchal blessing. In the end we can't be spiritually self-reliant because we're completely dependent on God. Stop trying to be self-reliant in that area; say "Uncle". Rely on God instead of the worldly things that you may put your trust or find security in. Self-reliance v. relying on God is a paradox. Remember two hymns: "I Need Thee Every Hour" and the line from "Guide Us O Thou Great Jehovah" that says "we are weak but thou art able..." He gives us tools, but we need to create a quiet place/ time in our lives so that we can tune in. Nobody else can get you to Heaven...you have to have your own testimony.
Shauri talked about how when she was younger she used to think about all the things that would change in her life, that she would do differently after she got married. She finally realized that she couldn't depend on a future spouse to spur her to action...she needed to act for herself now. I (Andrea) said that there are things I don't do now that I am married that I used to be better at when I was single because I tell myself that these things are my husband's responsibility. I can't do that...I need to take responsibility for myself.
Shauri asked us how self-reliance makes us free. Gwen said because you can sleep when the wind blows, you're prepared in the midst of a storm. If you are prepared, not only can you take care of yourself, but you can help others. The more dependent you are on others, the less freedom you have. Shauri gave the simple example of how her father couldn't upload his photos to his computer without Shauri's help. Because of this, he was dependent on her busy schedule if he wanted to get his pictures off his camera. Another example Shauri gave is of a flock of seagulls in St. Augustine, Florida, that didn't know how to fish for themselves because the shrimpers had always thrown them things to eat. When the shrimpers left the areas, the seagulls began to starve to death. We also talked about how our actions can enable the dependence of our loved ones. Linda remembered that President Kimball had once said that the most loving thing to do is the responsible thing. She uses this to guide her choices in regards to meeting the needs of others. When is it love, and when is it hurting the other person to do things for them?
Freedom from dependence is freedom from fear. Paula shared an experience that happened after a big power outage a few years ago. Corey got scared that they wouldn't have any water to drink. He was so relieved when Paula told him that they had a two week supply of water for every family member. His fear was gone. Michelle R. talked about how last year they were in a sticky situation financially, they panicked, they stopped praying for a short time. This year their financial situation is even worse, but they are in a much better place spiritually, and are not afraid like they were before. Heather said that Elder Eyring's father was on his death bed and he asked if he was prepared to die. His father said "I've been taking care of it along the way." Shauri said that we're often scared to lose someone we love to death, but faith can help take the fear away.
Emotional self-reliance: freedom from self-doubt. Lisa Q. said we can overcome self-doubt through experience, learning that we can do it. A key is having God's help throughout. She told us how the other day, she really needed a nap, but her two children's sleep schedules don't usually overlap. She prayed, asking God for 30 minutes of rest, and she got it. We need Heavenly Father as a companion. Lisa J. said it is hard to help others if we are absorbed with self-doubt, folding in on ourselves, filled with darkness. God's principles help us to be more shiny. Shauri said that self-reliance builds our self-esteem. She read us some selections from a book by Elizabeth Gilbert: Eat, Pray, Love. The author left the country to find herself. Her depression and loneliness followed her to Rome. She uses her journal to write to God, and she writes his answers back to her. She tells of a day that she saw a reflection of herself in a mirror and for a split second, mistook the image for a friend. She writes in her journal "never forget that once...you recognized yourself as a friend."
It is important to serve others. Shauri read us part of a letter from Delsa (Shauri's mother who is on a mission in Australia). In the letter, she shared the story some of the Elders in the mission told of helping a woman in a grocery store parking lot get her bags into the car. They were surprised because she just sat in the car and didn't try to help them. They later found out that she'd just had a c-section. President Kimball once said that there is a "constant flow of revealed communication" a river flowing next to us that we can drink of whenever we choose.
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