Michelle Rackley taught our Sunday lesson on James E. Faust's April 2007 General Conference talk, "The Healing Power of Forgiveness". Elder Faust told many stories in his talk, but Michelle was especially touched by his account of the Amish community in Pennsylvania that freely forgave the family of the milkman who killed 5 of their daughters and then took his own life. Michelle shared the story of a family in California whose 11 year old daughter was abducted, raped, and murdered. The perpetrator was caught and put in jail. This family visited him in prison, and after he was beaten to death by fellow inmates, attended his funeral. 3 Nephi 1 describes the Nephite preparation for Christ's birth. Wicked members of the community were threatening to kill those church members who believed in a sign that would come to tell them of Christ's arrival across the sea. When the sign does appear, it causes many to repent and join themselves to the church (see verses 9, 15-17, 23). Can you imagine attending church with people who had planned to kill you?
Michelle told another story of two LDS boys who were leaders among their peers. In high school these boys got involved in drugs and alcohol, and many of the active LDS teens followed after them. The two boys eventually repented, served honorable missions, and married in the temple. But a number of the people who they influenced to stray never returned. Can you imagine how it would feel to be the parent of one of the children who had been permanently affected by this event, and to see the men who had started it all participating actively in the church, possibly in a priesthood leadership position? She related this to the story of Alma the Younger and the sons of Mosiah, reading from Mosiah 27 verses 8-10, 24, 28, and 32. Alma, who had led so many astray, went on to become the prophet.
The next example Michelle gave was of forgiving ourselves. For this she used the story of Joseph Smith when he allowed Martin Harris to take the Book of Mormon manuscript and then lost it. He was devastated when he heard that Martin had lost the manuscript. The angel took back the plates and the urim and thumim. But after a short time, during which Joseph sincerely repented, these things were returned, and Joseph received a message that God was pleased with him. If Joseph had not been able to forgive himself for this mistake, could he have finished the work of translating the Book of Mormon?
Michelle's final example of forgiveness was from 3 Nephi 8. This is the account of the natural disasters and destruction that took place in the new world at the time of the Savior's death. As Michelle put it, it was Hurricane Katrina times ten. She pointed out that this is an excellent example of forgiving life in general...bad things that happen to us that cannot really be blamed on anyone. We can choose to be bitter, or we can choose to have our hearts softened.
How does forgiveness work in your life? L.S.: forgiveness does not mean to reconcile, necessarily, but to let go and move on. With the help of the spirit, I've been able to let go, but that doesn't mean that I'm friends with that person anymore, because I don't trust them anymore.
S.T.: I like what L. said. But the Amish went out of their way to reach out to the family of the milkman. We don't know how to handle anger. But they didn't lash out at his family.
L.J.: It is a mystery why forgiveness is instantaneous for some people and takes so much time for others. Leave a space in your heart for forgiveness so that it can come in when the time is right. A man's whose whole family was killed by a drunk driver found the motivation to forgive because he wanted to be reunited with his family in the next life. Instead of saying I can't forgive, say I can't forgive right now, but I'm leaving a space for it.
L.J.: Not forgiving is too expensive. I don't want to pay the price of hanging on to the hurt.
J.E.: It is a personal transformation. I have a relative who doesn't like me. I forgive her, but I also find that I need to stay away from her.
S.T.: How do you teach people to forgive?
L.R.: I think we're born knowing how to forgive, but we unlearn it.
P.F.: A lot of it is what you see in your family. We all argue and fight at home. You can show your children right then how to make up after fighting. Are you going to use the silent treatment? Will you hold a grudge? Or will you apologize?
M.G.: Bearing testimony strengthens it. Forgiveness is similar...the more we do it, the better we get at it. Sometimes we want to forgive, but it is so hard. We can tell the Lord that we are trying, and he can help us.
S.S.: The life of Joseph Smith is a great example of forgiving (see D & C 3). He was betrayed again and again, and he says "I frankly forgave the man." He wrote a letter to W.W. Phelps after being betrayed, and forgave him.
Michelle: Nephi frankly forgives his brothers and they continue on their journey.
L.Q.: People can do things to me and I don't care, but when people hurt my family it is harder to forgive. Heavenly Father says we have to forgive, though. I have to stop dwelling on it.
L.J.: I try to remember how much I need forgiveness for my own shortcomings. We actually hurt and offend others, and we need forgiveness, so we shouldn't withhold it.
Michelle: To close, the Lord taught us to love our enemies. How do non-Christians view Christians? Christians are people who teach that we should return love for hate. Think of something you need to let go of. Do you want to? Can you? Can Christ help you? Christ's atonement makes it possible for us to forgive and be forgiven. Jesus taught us to love our enemies.
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