Prez Says: News Headlines

The Prez Says… Reading and processing world news becomes more and more overwhelming. I empathize with Lily Tomlin when she quips, “No matter how cynical I get, I just can’t keep up.” News reports are filled with fear and anguish, dehumanization, personal tragedy, threats of terrorism, and all manner of vile things. Woody Allen stated, “More than at any time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we’ll have the wisdom to choose correctly.” His sentiment is humorous because we recognize that it contains some truth. Indeed, our news headlines are consistent with what we’ve been told to expect in the last days.

Yet President Hinckley has always, and continues to, paint a hopeful picture about the world. “I see so much good in people everywhere. Wonderful things are happening around the world.” He has observed and commented on the wonders of technology, and he reminds us that living in the last days gives us unique opportunities and blessings as we align ourselves with the righteous. President Hinckley’s optimism and energy instructs us to “be of good cheer for (he) will lead (us) along.” (D&C 61:36; 78:18)

News headlines remind us of the difficulty of our times, but more importantly, President Hinckley reminds us that through repentance and obedience to the Lord we can experience gospel gladness and joy regardless of what the newspaper headlines (or Woody Allen) might say.

17 June 2007: My notes on Sondra's lesson

Sondra told us that she has been asked to teach more than one lesson on integrity. Each time, she has told the following story. Her dad has had periods of activity and inactivity in the church. Because he is so capable, during his periods of activity, he has had many church duties. One of those was to staff the church welfare farm for their area. He made a lot of phone calls. In time, he discovered that many active members of the church would readily agree to work at the farm, but then not show up. Less active members, however, would say yes or no, but if they said yes, they always followed through. Someone mentioned the scripture that says let your yea be yea and your nay, nay (James 5:12).

Sondra directed our attention to the board, where she had written a definition of integrity taken from the words of President Kimball (see handout in previous post). She underlined the phrase "unadulterated genuineness", saying that she just loves this part. We need to ask ourselves, what is right for me in the situation, not what are others thinking. Julie shared an experience with her son's preschool in which she acted with integrity and others reacted badly. Because many of the parents at the school were poor, they decided that for a group trip to the zoo, they would organize themselves into false family groups, in order to make use of the available zoo passes. Because Julie didn't want to teach her son that it is acceptable to deceive others, she quietly went to the school and told them that she would prefer to pay her own way. This made people very angry, and they stopped talking to her for the rest of the year. Sondra pointed out that how we deal with seemingly small issues really affects children. She remembered how as a young person she was quite small, and her family would say that she was 12 so that she could get into the movies at a reduced price. This never felt right to her, it made her feel confused and uneasy, because it didn't match what she was learning at church.

President Kimball teaches that integrity gives us confidence, peace, and security. Michelle G. told the story of a recent Sunday when they came home from church to find the neighbor kids jumping on their trampoline. Her boys, knowing about their own rule of not using the tramp on Sundays, asked if it was alright for other people to use it. Michelle felt that with her children watching, she needed to stand firm, so she went out and kindly explained to the neighbors that the trampoline is closed on Sundays. Sondra said that both Julie's experience and Michelle's sounded scary to her, but important.

I (Andrea) talked about my experience as a 17 year old exchange student in Japan. At the end of the year, after living with 4 different host families, I attended a dinner with all of my families. The mothers had never met each other, and we all sat at a table together. The first thing they asked each other was, "when Andy lived with you, did she go to church every Sunday?" And then, "when Andy lived with you, did she skip two meals on the first Sunday of every month?" Those were the very first things they wanted to know from each other. I was so glad that I had been consistent.

Natalie told a story about how she was always very modest as a teenager because her parents taught them how important that was. The one time she decided to not be modest was when her cross country team ran a race in only their sports bras. This was a tradition, and she decided to join in, thinking that no one would know. But lots of her leaders ended up coming to the race, and then her picture ended up in in the newspaper. She was so humiliated. Sondra responded by saying that two times in her life, she spent her tithing money, and both times her car was wrecked the same day.

Sondra asked, what do we most want to hide from those we love and respect? We need to look for and acknowledge our well-hidden hypocricies. We read Moses 4: 14-16 and Sondra pointed out that it was Satan who suggested that Adam and Even hide from God. Hiding is his principle. It is because we don't trust the Lord enough that we hold on to things that we don't want to know about ourselves or don't want others to know about us. President Kimball says that we all have the tendency to justify our behavior. How do we do this, what do we say to ourselves? Julie says that when she catches herself justifying she know she needs to step back and see what she is doing. Lea said that often we don't want to hurt others' feelings, and we use that as a justification.

Michelle R. talked about a really hard week she had, and how in the end she realized that one of the problems getting in the way of receiving the Lord's blessings and gifts is hiding from past mistakes. It is hard to open up and see the truth about ourselves. Sondra said that people are so complex, it is very hard to sort through all of our layers. Kathy said that if we don't feel good about ourselves we give up on ourselves. The adversary uses discouragement. Sondra: we deny God's love for us and what he wants to do for us.

Paula: how do we go back and make up for times when we've not acted with integrity? What can we do to make things right? Sondra: I really think that is what the repentance process is for. A friend of hers joined the church as an adult, and she had had an abortion. Her Bishop wanted to help her make restitution for this. She was very poor, and he asked her to donate money to Save the Children for one year. This helped her. Lisa J.: we can use our past mistakes to help us teach and relate to others, especially our children or the youth. And we need to be careful that when we learn of others' past mistakes, that we let them grow past those mistakes.

Sondra ended by sharing the story of Arthur Kane from the documentary New York Doll. She was especially touched by the prayer he offered backstage before going out for his reunion concert with his band in London. Integrity takes courage, determination, and practice.

Introducing Julie Kincaid

For those of you who don't get to attend RS on Sundays, it can be hard to get to know the new sisters that move in to our ward. So let me introduce you to our newest addition, Julie Kincaid. Here is what Julie wrote about herself:

I was born/raised in Anchorage, AK. I am one of 8 kids. I went to college in Seattle, and studied Economics. I went on a mission to Scotland. Five years ago we moved from Seattle to Michigan for my husband Jesse's Radiology residency, which was in Royal Oak. Now we are here to do a final year of fellowship training in Neuro-Radiology. We have 4 kids, ages 10, 8, 4, 2, and another one due in December. :) (I forgot to mention that today...we are just starting to tell people and sometimes I forget, which is amazing because usually I feel so crummy that it's all I think about) We are living in a rental house in the NW corner of the ward, close to Jackson and Zeeb roads.

Welcome, Julie! I wish I had a picture to post...

17 June 2007: SWK #12 Integrity

Sondra Soderborg taught our lesson today from the Spencer W. Kimball Manual, chapter 12: "Integrity."

I am posting her handout immediately for your perusal. I will add a second post with my notes soon. Here is her handout:

Integrity defined by President Kimball: quality of being complete, undivided or unbroken. It is something whole, unimpaired. It is purity and moral soundness, unadulterated genuineness and deep sincerity. It is courage, honesty, uprightness and righteousness.

I think of it as one’s values and beliefs being fully integrated into one’s thoughts, actions and choices.

President Kimball says that integrity does not ask, “’What will others think of me and my practices,’ but ‘What do I think of myself if I do this or fail to do that?’ Is it proper? Is it right? Would the Master approve?”

Integrity brings peace, sureness and security. Lack of it brings disunity, fear sorrow unsureness. What are examples from your life of confidence arising from integrity?

It is important that we examine our lives regularly and look for our well-hidden hypocrisies, dishonesties and rationalizations. What do we most want to hide from those we love and respect?

In Moses 4:14-16, Adam and Eve, having partaken of the fruit, realize that they are naked and seek to hide from the Lord. It is Satan who has encouraged them to hide. Most of us probably want to hide certain things from ourselves and Heavenly Father. President Kimball talks about this tendency as self-justification—ways that we convince ourselves that the things we are ashamed of don’t matter.

What are some the ways we justify behavior that we know is not right?

If we live with integrity, we will keep our covenants, including baptismal and temple covenants. Temple covenants in particular are not about refraining from sin. They require action.

Dishonesty robs us of integrity. President Kimball was a businessman. In his employment and in working with members of the church in many callings, he saw many forms of financial and other dishonesty. He also warns against breaking rules or laws that we find inconsequential—like paying child’s price for an overage child.

What are the temptations to dishonesty that we experience?

It is truly important that we discipline ourselves to having integrity in small things. Our example matters to children who really do watch the choices and behavior of adults in their lives. It is also important to our own spiritual growth that we be honest with ourselves and with God.

Prez Says: Hard Sayings

From the inspired thoughts of our beloved President, Kathy Diehl:

Jesus was in the synagogue in Capernaum when He gave the speech that is known as the Bread of Life discourse (John 6:22-71). He explained that He was not the kind of Messiah the people wanted, that He was not here to free the Jews from Roman domination and oppression. He said that He had to be the kind of Messiah that His Father commanded Him to be. This was a huge disappointment to those who followed Jesus only because they had eaten loaves and fishes and were intrigued by His miraculous powers. They murmured, “This is an hard saying; who can hear it?” (v. 60) and John records, “From that time many...went back, and walked no more with him.” (v. 66)

In each of our lives we are faced with “hard sayings” that present us with decisions to be obedient, true disciples of Christ or to become bogged down and “walk no more with him.” The hard sayings are different for each of us. For some, tithing might be a hard saying. Serving a mission may be a hard saying for some young men or for some older couples. Accepting a calling may be a hard saying for others. Certain chronic problems, disappointments, or trials can be hard sayings. The adversary tempts us to give up, to get discouraged, and he is relentless in his deception that we can’t or won’t progress at mastering our hard sayings. He is the father of all lies, and would like nothing better than for us to “walk no more with (the Savior).”

Whatever your current hard sayings may be, never give up! Pray for insight, help and strength. Jesus Christ is the one and true Bread of Life. We will never regret our efforts to continue to walk with Him.

10 June 2007: SWK #11 Self-Reliance

Shauri Quinn taught our lesson today, SWK #11: "Provident Living: Applying Principles of Self-Reliance and Preparedness." She began by asking us what it means to be self-reliant. We answered that you can take care of yourself. Shauri divided the principle into three buckets: financial, spiritual, and emotional.

Financial self-reliance: be a nut saver; don't spend more than you take in; beware of credit cards and buying things that you don't have the cash to pay for. Learn to determine accurately the difference between a need and a want. Bargain shop, or don't shop at all. Get an education. Be prepared to support your family.

Spiritual self-reliance: practice/ develop confidence in getting answers to your own prayers. How do you know when the Lord is speaking to you? A priesthood blessing; study the scriptures; read Patriarchal blessing. In the end we can't be spiritually self-reliant because we're completely dependent on God. Stop trying to be self-reliant in that area; say "Uncle". Rely on God instead of the worldly things that you may put your trust or find security in. Self-reliance v. relying on God is a paradox. Remember two hymns: "I Need Thee Every Hour" and the line from "Guide Us O Thou Great Jehovah" that says "we are weak but thou art able..." He gives us tools, but we need to create a quiet place/ time in our lives so that we can tune in. Nobody else can get you to Heaven...you have to have your own testimony.

Shauri talked about how when she was younger she used to think about all the things that would change in her life, that she would do differently after she got married. She finally realized that she couldn't depend on a future spouse to spur her to action...she needed to act for herself now. I (Andrea) said that there are things I don't do now that I am married that I used to be better at when I was single because I tell myself that these things are my husband's responsibility. I can't do that...I need to take responsibility for myself.

Shauri asked us how self-reliance makes us free. Gwen said because you can sleep when the wind blows, you're prepared in the midst of a storm. If you are prepared, not only can you take care of yourself, but you can help others. The more dependent you are on others, the less freedom you have. Shauri gave the simple example of how her father couldn't upload his photos to his computer without Shauri's help. Because of this, he was dependent on her busy schedule if he wanted to get his pictures off his camera. Another example Shauri gave is of a flock of seagulls in St. Augustine, Florida, that didn't know how to fish for themselves because the shrimpers had always thrown them things to eat. When the shrimpers left the areas, the seagulls began to starve to death. We also talked about how our actions can enable the dependence of our loved ones. Linda remembered that President Kimball had once said that the most loving thing to do is the responsible thing. She uses this to guide her choices in regards to meeting the needs of others. When is it love, and when is it hurting the other person to do things for them?

Freedom from dependence is freedom from fear. Paula shared an experience that happened after a big power outage a few years ago. Corey got scared that they wouldn't have any water to drink. He was so relieved when Paula told him that they had a two week supply of water for every family member. His fear was gone. Michelle R. talked about how last year they were in a sticky situation financially, they panicked, they stopped praying for a short time. This year their financial situation is even worse, but they are in a much better place spiritually, and are not afraid like they were before. Heather said that Elder Eyring's father was on his death bed and he asked if he was prepared to die. His father said "I've been taking care of it along the way." Shauri said that we're often scared to lose someone we love to death, but faith can help take the fear away.

Emotional self-reliance: freedom from self-doubt. Lisa Q. said we can overcome self-doubt through experience, learning that we can do it. A key is having God's help throughout. She told us how the other day, she really needed a nap, but her two children's sleep schedules don't usually overlap. She prayed, asking God for 30 minutes of rest, and she got it. We need Heavenly Father as a companion. Lisa J. said it is hard to help others if we are absorbed with self-doubt, folding in on ourselves, filled with darkness. God's principles help us to be more shiny. Shauri said that self-reliance builds our self-esteem. She read us some selections from a book by Elizabeth Gilbert: Eat, Pray, Love. The author left the country to find herself. Her depression and loneliness followed her to Rome. She uses her journal to write to God, and she writes his answers back to her. She tells of a day that she saw a reflection of herself in a mirror and for a split second, mistook the image for a friend. She writes in her journal "never forget that once...you recognized yourself as a friend."

It is important to serve others. Shauri read us part of a letter from Delsa (Shauri's mother who is on a mission in Australia). In the letter, she shared the story some of the Elders in the mission told of helping a woman in a grocery store parking lot get her bags into the car. They were surprised because she just sat in the car and didn't try to help them. They later found out that she'd just had a c-section. President Kimball once said that there is a "constant flow of revealed communication" a river flowing next to us that we can drink of whenever we choose.

Prez Says: Do What We Can

Weekly words of wisdom by our fearless leader, Kathy Diehl:

“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which in heaven is perfect,” (Matt. 5:48) can feel overwhelming, impossible, and guilt-provoking. But go back to verse 43, which is the beginning of the paragraph or thought, and read through verse 48. The passage when read in its entirety, talks about loving others. We are asked to love others perfectly, as our Father in heaven does.

Lazarus’ sister, Mary, bought an alabaster box filled with precious, very expensive ointment and poured it on Jesus’ head as he “sat at meat.” (Matt. 26:6-13; Mark 14:3-9; Luke 7:36-50). The apostles complained that she’d wasted her money, which could have helped many poor people. Jesus explained that they should not criticize Mary because she “wrought a good work...and she hath done what she could.” That’s all the Lord asks or expects—that we do what we can! In Luke’s account, Mary is described as “a sinner.” Jesus agreed that Mary had many sins, which had been forgiven, “for she loved much.”

We are asked to do what Mary did—to do what we can and to love much. Moroni 7:47-48 defines love as “charity, which is the pure love of Christ,” and says that this is a gift of the spirit. The Lord will give us, as a gift, what he’s asking from us! Let’s replace thoughts of perfectionism and needless guilt with the charge to ‘do what we can, and to love much.’